Ve have vays off maykink you take your shots

Proof positive that Amerika is the land of the free! All children must be vaccinated to attend school. No exceptions. What's that you say, you're concerned about mercury used as a preservative, not to mention the link to autism? I told you not to mention that, 'cause it don't fly no mo'. A "Special Court Has Ruled That Vaccines have NO LINK TO AUTISM". That ends that debate. Speak no more of it. Bend over and take your shots. WHAT? I don't care if the Supreme Court once ruled that Dred Scott was property! DO WHAT YOU'RE TOLD!

Speaking of possible misuses of the Medical Industry, it appears that we taxpayers may have to cover the cost of that bitches litter, er, I mean "Taxpayers To Cover Octuplet Mom's Costs". Why the hell not. The government is shoveling twenty-five percent of our paychecks at every other money grubbing whore in a suit. Why not this insane incubator too. What the heck do I care. I gotta plenty numbers.

Did you hear the one about the crazy Japanese Scientists who designed a "Living Doll Made Of Human Cancer Cells"? Yeah, cool! Professor Shoji Takeuchi of the "Institute of Industrial Science" (holy shit, are they the guys that created Mewtwo?) harvested liver cancer cells, bonded them with 100,00 capsules of collagen coated with "special cells" that secrete a protein to bind this hideous mess into any adorable little shape they choose! Cancerchu, I choose YOU! If I know my Mary Shelly, this could turn ugly. I just hope Spider Man will be here when we need him.

Oh yeah, the Japanese are also creating stem cells from wisdom teeth. Why a part of the body routinely extracted before you even know they're there? Is it too hard to use an appendix? Do they plan to develop an Uber Man with thirty wisdom teeth that will make dentists wealthy beyond the dreams of Avarice?

Last and oh so least, "Scientists Uncover Why Aroma Of Chips Are So Desirable". Oh, those English. While the Japanese preform ghastly acts of "science" that convince me "Parasite Eve" was based on a true story, the English are spending money to find out what "chips" (which everyone else knows as "Freedom Fries") smell like. Anyway, a Leeds University study found that chips smell like a combination of; butterscotch, coco, onion, cheese and iron board. No, I don't know what the hell is wrong with these people. But there's more. The study goes on to say that: 4 in 10 people say chips taste better at the seaside. 3/4 say chips should be eaten with a fork. 1 in 5 admit to have eaten them in bed. Chips, that is. I copied those ratios verbatim. It's all very scientific. I have to lie down now. Maybe eat some chips.