PEANUTS, to you!

Where will it all end? Well, we finally got the news we've all been waiting for...

"First Dog in Oregon Infected With Salmonella"

It seems "Levi", a 3 year old "mixed breed", and one of four doggies in the family, exhibited the symptoms of salmonella; vomiting and bloody diarrhea. The culprit? Happy Tails dogie biscuits, made, of course, with ingredients from the American Peanut Corporation.

Here's what I don't understand. A dog is an animal, as are we all. But dogs are yoga masters, capable of licking their own butt holes with gusto for prolonged periods of time . They eat anything they find laying on the ground, and are famous for burying skeletal remains, only to exhume them and spend hours chewing on them. Bones covered with rotted flesh. Their own feces. Oh, and let's not forget dogs who like to clean out litter boxes. How the hell does a dog even notice when he has salmonella? My little terrier just caught a mouse. He probably would have eaten it if I hadn't taken it from him. So pardon me if I don't panic. The tainted peanut products are reputed to have been on the market since 2007. I happen to have a jar of peanut butter almost that old. I think I'll go make a sandwich and see what happens.