Six More Weeks of Futility

Groundhog day has come and gone, and boy, did I see MY shadow! It was HUGE! But that's OK, this is a good time to store up fat. I read that some plastic surgeon somewhere makes his own bio fuel out of his liposuction patients' leftovers, so I could someday become a rich untapped source of energy and single handedly ween our great nation of its dependence on foreign oil! America; the fat, the proud, the future source of unleaded regular!

Speaking of America, did you know that torture is all that has kept this nation safe from terrorist attacks for the last eight years?

Cheney Warns of New Attacks!
Our great late Vice President announced that protecting the country's security is a "tough, mean, dirty, nasty business. These are evil people. And we're not going to win this fight by turning the other cheek" Go fuck yourself, Jesus! Wait, he is talking about the "terrorists", isn't he? Because I had that opinion of the Bush administration. Cheney then went on to warn that there would no doubt be an attack on a major city with biological or nuclear weapons. I'm not surprised. I've been waiting for Dick Cheney to attack Portland with a dirty bomb for the last seven years. Dick also predicted that 10 to 12% of the detainees released from GITMO went back into "the business of being terrorists", mainly for the dental plan.

Wait! I'm having a VISION! According to the Mayan Calendar the world will end in 2012. That is the year Sara Palin and Joe the plumber will move into the White House. Now I AM looking forward to Cheney's Nuke!