Now, for the Out-Of-Context News

What a great day to be a woman!

An Australian Navy submarine skipper is under fire for an interview in which he apparently agreed that female sailors should be required to wear bikinis to "reverse the recruitment crisis". The Australian navy had an extended Christmas break due to lack of personnel. They actually "CLOSED" the NAVY for two months. If you're out of work, you should maybe look into this. They might be hiring.

Speaking of great places to work, Peru's top court ruled that workers cannot be fired for being drunk on the job. And they say Amerika's a great country!

Meanwhile in Chile, some douche bag fashion designer is parading his models dressed in SEXY VIRGIN MARY wear, with prominently displayed hooters, and halos even. OK, now if there WAS a god, might he not be slightly inclined to respond to this in some small way. Rain down some fire or something. Gee whiz, they be dissin' on yo woman here. No respect. No respect.

At the Budapest Zoo, a 32 year old female gorilla underwent gynecological surgery. I don't even want to know why, because it reminded me of the joke that ended with: "You give 'em a fur coat and they think they own the place". Thanks Hungary. Thanks a lot. First the Gabor sisters, now Gorilla Gynecology.

And the last headline for today, "Methane raises hope that Mars is habitable". There's lots of people in my neighborhood that will move there right now just on the mention of "meth". That's probably what they're hoping for. Someplace to ship the undesirables. Just like in that Outer Limits episode about the Zantis! That was so great! Killer Cooties that ate Bruce Durn. Damn, now I miss my childhood again.