Merry Xmas

---

Oh, it's that happ happ happy time of year again. Time for the assault by the quasi-christians on us heathens, and the town looks just lovely with its liberal (you should forgive the expression) dose of electric crucifixes in highly visible locations. That's right folks. Crucifixes bedecked with jolly Christmas lights! What's that, you say? An instrument of torture and death is an inappropriate symbol to decorate for a festive holiday season? What are you? Some kind of commie bastard? Jesus DIED for you, you ungrateful socialist Jew! What do you mean, Christmas is supposed to celebrate his birth? Stop attacking my religion you left-wing piece of shit! Merry Christmas, and I'll see you in hell!

This made me feel better about the whole thing, so I pasted it here to love and cherish forever!

Religious Beliefs of the World

Buddhism - Crap Happens
Hare Krishna - Crap Happens, Rama Rama Ding Dong
Hinduism - This Crap Happened Before
Islam - Crap Happens Whenever I Blow Myself Up
Sufi - When Crap Happens Spin Around Till You're Dizzy
Zen - What Is The Sound Of Crap Happening?
Taoism - When Crap Happens... Is It Really Crap?
Confucianism - Confucius Say " Crap Happens"
Jain - Holy Crap It's Alive!
7th Day Adventist - Crap Happens On Saturdays
Protestantism - Crap Happens Because You're Lazy
Catholicism - Crap Happens And You Deserve It
Jehovah's Witness - Knock Knock, "Crap Happens"
Unitarian - Whoa! What's This Crap???
Mormon - We Have Records Of All This Crap Happening
Judaism - Why Does This Crap Always Happen To Me?
Rastafarianism - Hey, Lets Smoke This Crap
Evangelism - Crap Is Going To Happen, Big Time, Very Soon
Pentecostal - Every Time Crap Happens Start Babbling
Shamanism - This Crap Didn't Happen Before Columbus
Amish - Crap Happens Whenever We Drive Anywhere
Agnosticism - Are You Sure About This Crap?
Atheism - I Don't Believe This Crap Is Happening!