Those Amazing Animals

Wow, so many animals in the news this week. "Obama Security Advance Team Member Has Suspected Case Of Swine Flu". Somehow I just KNEW this would turn out to be the democrats' fault, but the poor little pigs are taking the rap. In Egypt alone 300,000 innocent porkers were slaughtered in an unwarranted reaction to "swine flu fever". Thank heavens the World Health Organization is taking steps to protect the piggies (or at least the pork industry) by discontinuing the usage of the term "swine flu", and instead referring to the virus by it's professional name, H1N1 influenza A. I feel better already.

When pigs fly, will birds dance? The birds ain't waiting! "Animals Shown To Dance To Music". After studying a COCKATOO on YouTube that grooves to the Backstreet Boys, "scientists" conclude that the bird "feels the beat", and is probably also homosexual. Yes, studies conducted at YouTube indicate that birds and maybe some elephants (everybody knows how gay THEY are) respond to music, but not cats and dogs. Cats and dogs are too busy sneaking up on the dancing birds.

This breakthrough discredits the claim that only humans can move to a musical beat, and has encouraged scientists to attempt teaching dolphins the Rumba!

Lastly, "Kentucky Derby Horses More Fragile, But Not Faster". Yet more evidence of the horrors of human exploitation, arrogance and greed. Years of selective breeding has resulted in big, strong, bulky horses that run like hell on the tips of their toes and shatter leg bones like glass with one misstep. At race tracks around the world, thoroughbreds are sustaining carer or life ending injuries on the average of two horses per day. That's a lot of very expensive dog food.

Perhaps the plan is to make Horse Racing more appealing to the average Joe, kind of like NASCAR, but without the carbon monoxide. And everybody likes a good wreck. Who wouldn't want to watch the "Kentucky Demolition Derby"? Maybe spectators in the front row could catch a flying hoof? Dang, now THAT would be something to take home to home to the kiddies.