Darwin Called. He Wants His Theory Back.

Ha ha, just kidding. However I happen to have my own theory to explain these troubling times we find ourselves condemned to live in.

I have determined, from pure observation, that life either finds equilibrium with its environment, or it continues to evolve until it gets to the point that it's become too damn smart for its own good, then starts to get progressively stupider, until it becomes so dumb it will forget to breathe, and by "it", I mean people. I believe humanity hit the apex in 1962, and has slid downhill rapidly ever since.

We children of the 50's & 60's held fast to the dream that the 21st Century would be a bright beacon of hope, where all human foibles had been overcome, peace would rule the planets, and everyone would have a robot maid and a flying car. Here we are. And what do we have?

Leader Slaughters Goat To Ward Off Evil.
Reading this headline, you might think the story will involve a small tribe in South America, or a remote African Nation, or maybe a Senator from Massachusetts. No. The leader in question is Asif Ali Zardani, the President of Pakistan.

President Zardani has a black goat slaughtered at his home almost every day to protect him from "black magic". To be fair, the goat isn't just wasted. The meat is given to the poor. And you can't blame the guy for being nervous, his wife was assassinated. But come on. Sacrificing goats. And don't forget...Pakistan has nukes.

I just hope the White House doesn't have a secret stock pile of ruminants hidden in Dick Cheney's old bunker.

At least the Chinese are trying to make progress. I always thought this was a crude stereo type, but it seems that a shortage of McDonald's franchises has driven some disadvantaged people to consume household pets to the point that "people caught eating dog or cat meat could be jailed 15 days & fined 5,000 yuan if a proposed law is passed in China".

Apparently in some parts of the world, meat is meat, and dog meat is rich and delicious, especially if you know how to prepare it properly; "beating the dog to death releases blood into the meat".


The initiative is backed by "China National Produce & Animal By-Products Import & Export Corporation" in the hopes that it will improve perceptions of Chinese exports, which were tarnished somewhat by recent shipments of lead tainted toys, lethal dog food and poisonous baby formula, not to mention "Happy Time Beaten Dog Meat In A Can", or as we call them in this country, "Vienna Sausages".