The Last Banana

Uncaring Chimp, your table is ready! I'm R.E.Tard, and I'll be your waiter tonight. Our daily special is the "Pointless Rambling Platter", served with a huge Waste of Time, and a generous dollop of Stupidity, all completely meatless for those who prefer to vegetate. Bon appetite!

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Location: Roseburg, Oregon, United States

I've outlived John Lennon over twenty years now, and I'm still a fucking waste of life. Oh well. Maybe the radiation from Fukushima will make me into an X Man!

Sunday, December 11, 2005

As the Snot Wad Drains

Well, time goes by and still no reply from any potential employers. Perhaps I should fall back on my many artistic talents and forge a career for myself as a Country Song writer. You have to listen to that shit everywere you go in this friggin' county, and at the rate my brain is decomposing, I should have no trouble at all as a lyricist. In the grocery store last week, I was subjected to "music" in which the singer uttered the words "more better". I had to stop, right there in the personal hygiene aisle, and weep. I may even have to give up Chinese food for the same reason. No, not my yeast infection. The horrible Country music they play at my favorite restaurant. Some may label me paranoid, but I am convinced Country music is one of, if not the main tool in the dumbing down of Amerika. How else can you explain it's ubiquitious presence in these troubled times? I cannot of course speak for the rest of the country, but here in River City, there is no escape. It is played in every retail establishment, and I relish it as much as having a cheese grater drug slowly across my spine. Not that I don't enjoy Country music, mind you. Given enough beer, I can tolerate anything. But no one is buying.

1 Comments:

Blogger rena m said...

As a proud user of the words "more better" I feel shocked and apalled by this post. I'm waiting for an apology.

December 27, 2005 at 10:50 PM  

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