Brother, can you spare $8.00 an hour?

I had my interview. My first in many years. Gawd, how I hate looking for work. It was pretty standard. The only question they asked me that stands out in my mind was, "If one of your friends wanted something out of the drop box, would you let them have it?" Without hesitation I answered, "Absolutely not". If there was anything good, I got dibs. The interviewer replied, "But they're your friend!" Oh well then, let 'em jump into ten feet of garbage, and I'll stand there and laugh as they try to get back out. That'll teach 'em to be my friend.

Anyway, I went to the sheriff's office today to drop off a few things
they need to conduct my background check for that fabulous job I don't
think I want anymore. You would not believe what you have to go through
to get an $8.00 an hour job guarding garbage with these people. I had to give them copies
of my driver's licence, social security card, voters registration, high
school diploma, marriage licence, all my numerous awards from my award
winning life and career as a book slave ($3.00 in nickels at the copy
machine!), in addition to high school and college transcripts ($3.00 each,
IF they can find the ancient scrolls), and birth certificate ($18.00, the
price almost a case and a half of beer!!!) sent directly from the source
to the sheriff. And you should have seen the 12 page questioneer I had to
fill out. Sample questions: Is there anything you could be successfuly
blackmailed for? Are they kidding? If there WAS, would anyone really
tell them? Wouldn't that just be inviting THEM to blackmail me? Then,
How many times in the last year have you been intoxicated? I put down,
"Only once that I can remember". By the time I got to the last question,
Why do you want this job?, I really didn't know anymore. So I just put
down, "To make money for beer". If that doesn't get me the job, well I
don't know what!