The Last Banana

Uncaring Chimp, your table is ready! I'm R.E.Tard, and I'll be your waiter tonight. Our daily special is the "Pointless Rambling Platter", served with a huge Waste of Time, and a generous dollop of Stupidity, all completely meatless for those who prefer to vegetate. Bon appetite!

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Location: Roseburg, Oregon, United States

I've outlived John Lennon over twenty years now, and I'm still a fucking waste of life. Oh well. Maybe the radiation from Fukushima will make me into an X Man!

Tuesday, September 13, 2011

Great Day In The Morning!

Six months it has been since the strength I have had to try to be funny and post! Nothing has seemed too awfully amusing lately, and my mind has continued to deteriorate at an alarming rate, but some sweet and loving soul has revived my will to live by leaving such a lovely anonymous comment that I want to buy the world a coke and keep it company until the apocalypse takes us away to that still and quiet place populated by teletubbies and their strangely placid bunny friends. And don't think I don't know what they do with that sentient vacuum cleaner! Oh my god, I can't wait! But I digress.

As god is my witness, I will post every week! Also, tomorrow I'm going to try the "gin soaked raisin" remedy for my swollen and monstrously misshapen leg, so THAT will give me something to write about! The human adventure continues!

3 Comments:

Anonymous Archie Von Vikernes said...

Hey mate,

Found your blog from whohub and thought i'd post something hear cause that other site is too confusing. [Insert awkward comment from total stranger/stalker] [Insert joke about the seriousness of interviewing your own self and then posting it online] [Beer][Beer][Beer]

I shall begin reading your blog now, so there better be some bloody new posts by the time I finish.

Regards,

Archie

September 14, 2011 at 1:00 AM  
Blogger uncaring _chimp said...

You can count on me, Archie! Barring any unforseen Alzheimer/beer related blackouts, that is...

September 14, 2011 at 2:13 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

As long as I inspired you to continue I've succeeded in at least one thing that gives me pleasure! Now tell me your musings on Faeries, and those who frequent other realms??!

September 15, 2011 at 5:06 PM  

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